The year is not over yet, but I have to say that this year has been filled with moments of things just being "right."
Sometimes I think we wander around - trying to figure out what we're supposed to be doing, where are we supposed to be. Where should I live? Who should I be hanging around? etc. Honestly you never know until you look back.
So far this year:
I left Starbucks for Jamba Juice
I left about 3 weeks of vacation that I never got to take or receive pay for.
But I also left a lot of stress. I actually got to take unpaid time off to visit my beautiful niece and nephew (brother and sister and law too but let's be honest on why I really went)
I got to take a 2 week trip with my parents and go on a good hike up a mountain - seeing my parents' perseverance and commitment to "togetherness"
I got to take a week vacation in NY with Alex (but to be honest, it was about the food - j/k)
I've moved to East Austin - a little less cushy, but it has made me a better person
I'm biking around. I'm starting to run again - I actually feel like I'm running better than when I was training for my marathon.
I took the step to commit to tutoring at a local middle school - and I think about my kids and their progress
I've gotten to babysit (aka play) with my friends' kids again - used to just be little Tsangs and Lees, but we've added Peters and another Lee.
I'm not working insane hours with fast food as my only option late at night.
I'm cooking a little more and enjoying a meal with Kev as we watch TV
*Kev and I first really bonded eating these awesome sub sandwiches in Albany, NY watching playoff basketball.
My Uncle Pat passed away after a long battle with cancer this year, but things felt right when I went back to see him for the last time. You really don't know how to say bye to someone when you know that it's probably the last time you'll see him breathing, sitting next to you. That trip was definitely one where in the moment, it felt like I should have been there. A week or two later after he passed away and all the family was there - it just felt right. Chris' flight got delayed in Dallas - which allowed him and his family to be around.
I wouldn't say that God came down and threw this vision of what I should be doing. There were some risks here and there, but nothing too horrible. I just feel very blessed. I feel like I'm learning again - in a new way. I cried the most I have in years when my uncle passed away. I felt fortunate to have peers honestly ask how I was doing. I could handle things in my head alright, but it was healthy to talk about things and let it out.
There are new challenging situations at Vox - the issues have always existed in life, but it's a different thing when they intersect your community. I'm thankful for the leadership and the honesty in our circle of friends. The insight and the laughter are all part of the feeling of things just being "right."
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I used to say that I love it when it's cold outside and you just breathe the cool crisp air, but something changed. Hannah and I ran a small loop around Town Lake (a part that I never ran before but is awesome). A week before, she kicked my butt burning me at the end. That day sucked - not cuz she beat me, but because we made a few stops here and there where water fountains didn't work. It was a shorter run, but the humidity made it feel like 90 and you could feel the sweat on your shirt weigh you down. This day was different. We went longer. We never stopped. We weren't tired. We felt good because it was just right - you could breathe in the air, but you didn't have to process cold to warm. You sweat and it just naturally dried. The air was crisp and clean, but you didn't even notice it.
It was like the Sunday ride the week before. It wasn't about skill or anything. Just riding and being with people - everyone from the high mileage bikers (Harm, Enoch, Gid) to the casual (Jen, Tandra, Joshua). I didn't feel like I was doing much the entire time other than chatting with people. I love our community. Those are truly the moments of just being. Those moments of just doing life together.
The other morning I made this awesome breakfast hash that Kev and I shared. That evening Kev cooked up the steaks. A day of good eating and just resting. Oh yeah, and I did have work in between that, but work is no longer one of the major things going on in my life.
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There's this feeling after a good shower where you feel like your skin is breathing. But then there's this feeling after you use one of those face wash soaps - then after that you REALLY feel like your pores have all opened and you're breathing in life. That's when I'm truly refreshed and ready to go.
I am usually a restless person, but there's this image/theory I have. When I take a good shower and then go to bed, it's like my body is breathing in rest - the pores are taking in the softness of the little cotton fibers in my blanket. It's like I'm absorbing the physical nature of rest. Add some cold weather and you gotta love staying in bed. It just feels right.
